I Told My Wife I'd Slept With 72 Women. It Didn't Land Well...


Praca, Oferty Pracy

I told my wife I’d slept with 72 women. It didn’t land well…


It seems unfair that I should be under suspicion for my past when I genuinely consider my current partner to be the true love of my life – Mister Ned

Until recently my partner and I had never discussed our “body count” of how many different people we’d shared a bed with in our lives to date. But a month or so ago my partner, who is eight years younger than me, disclosed to me that her number was roughly 20. Breezily, and with as much insouciance as I could muster, I decided to be honest with her about my body count – which stands at 72.

I was prepared for her to be slightly taken aback. But – perhaps stupidly – not prepared for the suspicion that has followed. To be honest, I’m quite surprised at the tally myself. Because 72 really doesn’t feel like that many if you’re in your mid-40s, as I am. That’s an average of 2.7 partners a year since I lost my virginity at the age of 17.


We’re hardly in Russell Brand or Jack Nicholson territory here. And, of course, there have been busier years and quieter years along the way. It was amazing to find what the months after a liberating divorce could do for my libido; while it probably wasn’t so shocking to find that my desirability in the eyes of women slumped in the many months I spent recovering from a bout of shingles, which mostly attacked one side of my face, rendering me something akin to the Elephant Man of south London.

The damage to my current relationship has come in a way I didn’t expect. Far from my partner being angry or disgusted or dismissing me as a cad, her reaction has been more of a slow-burner. It’s manifested in a lack of trust she now has whenever I spend any time with my platonic female friends, of whom there are quite a number.

It’s slightly easier with those women who are settled down with a partner. But I’m starting to feel guilty about seeing my single female friends; none of whom, I should stress, have any desire to sleep with me, or vice versa.


Perhaps this is all my chickens coming home to roost. But it seems unfair that I should be under suspicion for my past when I genuinely consider my current partner to be the true love of my life and the person I want to spend the rest of my years with.

Despite the number of intimate encounters I’ve had, I’ve only been unfaithful twice in my life, both one-night stands which occurred right at the end of dead relationships. Long-drawn-out affairs are something I leave to others. Seeing other men trying to juggle two or more women has led me to believe that infidelity is more admin than passion. The ability to tell the thousands of small lies required to get away with sexual duplicity bears the hallmarks of sociopathic behaviour to me.

I’ve suggested that my partner accompanies me when I hang out with my female mates – but this hasn’t been met with much enthusiasm from her to date. So perhaps, for my relationship to be free of suspicion, I have to break free from my remaining single female friends.


It does feel slightly unfair. Perhaps I should have lied and put my body count at a lower figure? Yet the question I’m now faced with is: if I do phase out my single female friends, do I tell them the reason is because of my historical sexual tally – even though that tally doesn’t include them? There are worse reasons to break off a friendship I suppose. But I’m struggling to think of one at the moment…

More Marriage Diaries: My wife’s doomscrolling has sucked all the joy out of our marriage



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *