Kelsey Parker has emotionally revealed how she is plagued with ‘guilt’ for not being able to ‘save’ late husband Tom amid his battle with brain cancer.

The Wanted star lost his life in March last year at the age of 33 after a year-and-a-half long battle with stage four glioblastoma brain cancer.

And on Thursday’s final episode of her show Kelsey Parker: Life After Tom, the mother of two, 32, headed for a therapy session in which she admitted it would take her “years and years” to “overcome the guilt” .

Tough: Kelsey Parker emotionally reveals how she is wracked with ‘guilt’ over not being able to ‘save’ late husband Tom amid brain cancer battle

As she contemplated life without her husband, Kelsey was asked by her therapist how she felt emotionally, with the widow commenting that she could not get rid of the feeling that she wanted Tom to die. was unable to stop.

Fighting back tears, she said: ‘There’s still this guilt, which I don’t think will go away overnight.

‘It will take years and years for this crime to end that I could not save him. But I know deep down in my heart that I did everything I could.

Asked by the therapist what she hopes for in the future, Kelsey responds that she just wants to be happy, though she admits she has to find herself again after two years dedicated to nursing her husband through his illness. need to find.

Tragic: The Wanted star lost her life in March last year at the age of 33, after a year and a half long battle with stage four glioblastoma brain cancer.

Tragic: The Wanted star lost her life in March last year at the age of 33, after a year and a half long battle with stage four glioblastoma brain cancer.

She explained that she ‘completely lost herself’ while caring for Tom for two years and then after he died, she was ‘left to pick up the pieces.’

Kelsey – who recently revealed Christmas was ‘harder than expected’ – said she feels she is ‘on a giant journey to figure out who I am, who this person is without Tom? ‘

Reflecting on the therapy session afterwards, Kelsey said: ‘It’s good to talk about the future but the future is hard for me.

‘Right now I want to be relieved of pain and feel happy, but I know that happiness is something I just can’t get. It’s hard, this thing I’m living with is never ending, it’s a never ending sadness. Grief is a strange, strange thing.’

HARD: On Thursday's final episode of her show Kelsey Parker: Life After Tom, the 32-year-old mother of two, going for a therapy session, admitted it took her

HARD: On Thursday’s final episode of her show Kelsey Parker: Life After Tom, the 32-year-old mother of two, going for a therapy session, admitted it took her “years and years” to “overcome the guilt” ‘ Will take

Struggle: It will take years and years to get over, the guilt that I couldn't save her.  But I know deep in my heart that I did everything I could

Struggle: It will take years and years to get over, the guilt that I couldn’t save her. But I know deep in my heart that I did everything I could

Meanwhile in the episode, Kelsey is joined by Tom’s bandmate Siva Kaneswaran as they pay an emotional visit to Dharamsala, where Tom passed away.

Kelsey explained how it was “important” for her to be back there, not only to thank the staff, but to see how far she’s come since then.

Although she was quick to add that even after driving past Dharamshala, she still gets the ‘heebee-jeebies’.

While there, the two reflected emotionally on Tom’s final hours, with Shiva recalling that although he was ‘messed up’ at the time of Tom’s death, he noted that it was heartwarming to see all of the singer’s loved ones gathered together. How cute it was

Ordeal: She explained she 'completely lost herself' while caring for Tom for two years and then after he died, she was 'left to pick up the pieces'

Ordeal: She explained she ‘completely lost herself’ while caring for Tom for two years and then after he died, she was ‘left to pick up the pieces’

Grief: Right now I want to get rid of the pain and feel happy, but I know that happiness is something that I might not get right now.

Grief: Right now I want to get rid of the pain and feel happy, but I know that happiness is something that I might not get right now.

Meanwhile, Kelsey breaks down in tears as she also recounts the moment Tom passed away, recounting how he hugged and kissed her and told her to ‘walk towards the light’ as he went to his last Was breathing

She also visited the bench she was sitting on in the garden shortly after he died, remembering that a white feather had fallen from the sky as she sat, and she saw it as a sign to Tom that he was well and Not in pain anymore. ,

At the end of the episode, Kelsey and her friends visited a spiritual retreat, where they participated in a cleansing ritual to help them get rid of everything they were holding onto.

Emotional: Meanwhile in the episode, Kelsey is joined by Tom's bandmate Siva Kaneswaran as they pay an emotional visit to the hospice Tom has passed away

Emotional: Meanwhile in the episode, Kelsey is joined by Tom’s bandmate Siva Kaneswaran as they pay an emotional visit to the hospice Tom has passed away

Memory: The pair reflect on Tom's final hours, with Shiva recalling that although she was 'messed up' when Tom died, she noted how lovely it was to see all of the singer's loved ones gathered together

Memory: The pair reflect on Tom’s final hours, with Shiva recalling that although she was ‘messed up’ when Tom died, she noted how lovely it was to see all of the singer’s loved ones gathered together

EMOTIONAL: Meanwhile, Kelsey broke down in tears as she spoke of the moment of Tom's passing, recounting how he hugged and kissed her and told her to 'walk towards the light'.

EMOTIONAL: Meanwhile, Kelsey broke down in tears as she spoke of the moment of Tom’s passing, recounting how he hugged and kissed her and told her to ‘walk towards the light’.

Kelsey said she wanted to overcome the guilt she felt over not being able to save her husband from death, and said she needed to stop ‘punishing herself’ over something she had no control over was not.

Concluding the series in which she explored living with grief, Kelsey said that ‘the grief will always be there … you learn to grow around your grief.’

She said she’s growing around her grief and learning to cope, noting that in the future, she wants her and her children to be “happy and healthy.”

Reflection: Shortly after her death she also visited the bench she sat in the garden, remembering that while she sat there, a white feather had fallen from the sky and she saw it as a sign to Tom.

Reflection: Shortly after her death she also visited the bench she sat in the garden, remembering that while she sat there, a white feather had fallen from the sky and she saw it as a sign to Tom.

Looking ahead: She said she's growing around her grief and learning to cope, noting that in the future, she wants her and her children to be 'happy and healthy'

Looking ahead: She said she’s growing around her grief and learning to cope, noting that in the future, she wants her and her children to be ‘happy and healthy’

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